Ms. Smith is an etiquette advocate and has been promoting better behaviors since 1986. She is founder of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, a nationally known etiquette expert and author of two books, From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Woman and From Clueless to Class Act: Manners for the Modern Man. Jodi is sought out by the media for her no-nonsense approach to etiquette. She has been seen on the NBC Today Show, Good Morning America and on the CBS Early Show. She has been quoted the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal and USA Today, and has been a featured guest on radio shows from coast to coast and into Canada.

Mannersmith Etiquette Advice for Wedding Invitations

Invitation Indications - your wedding invitation is the first piece of tangible information your guests will have about the upcoming affair. It is important that you consider the message and the mood you wish to convey. Choose the invitation that best matches your ideal of your wedding day.

QUICK LINKS: Invitations 101  |  Sample Invitations  |  At Home Cards   |  Second Marriages Invitation Samples  |  Addressing Envelopes

Invitations 101
The basic format for the invitation is as follows:

Names of the hosts
Line of invitation
The event and relation to the host
Name of the bride
To
Name of the groom
Day, date
Year
Location
City, State

The invitation may also include information about the reception as well as how to accept the invitation.

Please note, there are many variations on weddings and therefore many variations on the actual wedding invitations. This is by no means an exhaustive list of the invitation wording available. As you begin to draft your invitation, you should work closely with the wedding provider from whom you are ordering the invitations. They will be able to best advise you on the precise wording for your affair. With that said, there are a few particulars for you to consider.

When the wedding ceremony will take place within a religious institution, the phrase is:
"request the honour of your presence"

When the wedding ceremony will be presided over by a religious leader, but not on religious ground, the phrase is:
"request the honor of your presence"

When the wedding ceremony is secular, or the invitation is to the reception only, the phrase is:
"request the pleasure of your company"

The time is generally written out: at six o'clock. When the wedding is not on the hour, the phrase "half after" is used.

There is a great debate about whether the year is necessary on the actual invitation. This may be decided based upon personal preference as well as the spacing allowed on your invitation choice. When the year is included, it is written out.
If a separate response card is not used, one of the following phrases should appear at the bottom of the invitation:
"R.s.v.p." or "the favour of your reply is requested"

There should never be any mention of a registry or expectation of gifts anywhere on the invitation.

Wedding announcements are sent after the wedding to be sure they are not confused with an invitation.

Sample Invitations

Basic Wedding Invitation

Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey Paul Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jessica Rachel
to
Mr. Douglas Matthew Jones
Saturday, the fourteenth of February
Two Thousand Two
Saint Towers Church
Sixty State Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Reception immediately following the ceremony.

Married hosts with different last names:
Mr. Jeffrey Paul Smith and Ms. Diane Susan Walters
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jessica Rachel Smith

Or

The more modern:
Ms. Diane Susan Walters and Mr. Jeffrey Paul Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jessica Rachel Smith

Mother and Stepfather hosting the wedding:
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Main Judd
request the hour of your presence
at the marriage of Mrs. Judd's daughter
Jessica Rachel Smith

Father and Stepmother hosting the wedding:
Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey Paul Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of Mr. Smith's daughter
Jessica Rachel Smith

Father and Stepmother hosting the wedding and Stepmother raise bride:
Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey Paul Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jessica Rachel Smith

Bride's divorced parents hosting wedding:
Mrs. Diane Walters Smith
Mr. Jeffrey Paul Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jessica Rachel Smith

Bride's divorced and remarried parents hosting wedding:
Mrs. Diane Walters Judd
Mr. Jeffrey Paul Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jessica Rachel Smith

Bride's divorced and remarried parents hosting wedding with step-parents:
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Main Judd
Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey Paul Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of Mrs. Judd and Mr. Smith's daughter
Jessica Rachel Smith

Or

Bride's divorced and remarried parents hosting wedding with step-parents:
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Main Judd
Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey Paul Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of
Jessica Rachel Smith

Groom's parents hosting wedding:
Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Daniel Jones
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of
Jessica Rachel Smith
to their son
Douglas Matthew Jones

Bride and Groom hosting their own wedding:
Jessica Rachel Smith
And
Douglas Matthew Jones
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage

Bride and Groom hosting their own wedding:
The honor of your presence
is requested at the marriage of
Jessica Rachel Smith
And
Douglas Matthew Jones

Invitation to reception only:
Mr. and Mrs. Jeffrey Paul Smith
request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding reception of their daughter
Jessica Rachel
to
Mr. Douglas Matthew Jones
Saturday, the fourteenth of February
Two Thousand Two
The Bay Tower
Sixty State Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Engagement Party, After the Elopement Party or Party to Celebrate The Marriage That Took Place Far Away:
Lesley and Matthew Jones
invite you to
Cocktails
in honor of Jessica and Douglas Jones
on Saturday, the fourteenth of February
at seven o'clock
The Bay Tower
Sixty State Street
Boston, Massachusetts

R.s.v.p.
617-555-1234

At Home Cards

In addition to sharing basic contact information, the At Home Cards are a wonderful way to inform people how the new couple wishes to be addressed.

Standard At Home Card:
At home
After the first of March

Mr. and Mrs. Douglas Matthew Jones
62 Garrison Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts 02116

At Home Card when bride is keeping her own name:
At home
After the first of March

Jessica Rachel Smith and Douglas Matthew Jones
62 Garrison Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts 02116

Second Marriages Invitation Samples

Bride and Groom hosting their own wedding:
Jessica Rachel Smith
and
Douglas Matthew Jones
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage
Saturday, the fourteenth of February
Two Thousand Two
The Bay Tower
Sixty State Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Or

Bride and Groom hosting their own wedding:
The honor of your presence
is requested at the marriage of
Jessica Rachel Smith
And
Douglas Matthew Jones

Bride and Groom hosting their own reception:
The pleasure of your company is requested
at the wedding reception of
Jessica Rachel Smith
and
Douglas Matthew Jones

Modern Invitation Bride and Groom hosting ceremony and reception:
Please join us in celebrating
as we exchange marriage vows
on Saturday, the fourteenth of February
Two thousand two
at six o'clock
The Bay Tower
60 State Street
Boston

Jessica Smith and Douglas Jones

Children Invite guests to second marriage:
Susanna and John Smith
and
Jennifer and Ian Jones
request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding reception for their parents
Jessica Marks Smith
and
Douglas Matthew Jones

Addressing Envelopes

Addressing invitations these days has become quite a challenge. Here are some of the more typical scenarios:

Married couple:
Mr. and Mrs. Allen Smith
Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Married couple, each keeping their own name:
Ms. Stacy Jones and Mr. Allen Smith

Or

Ms. Stacy Jones
and Mr. Allen Smith
Inner envelope: Ms. Jones and Mr. Smith

Married couple, doctors:
The Doctors Smith

Or

Doctors (Drs.) Stacy and Allen Smith
Inner envelope: Drs. Smith

Married couple, only husband is a doctor:
Dr. and Mrs. Allen Smith
Inner envelope: Dr. and Mrs. Smith

Married couple, only wife is a doctor (spouse with title comes first):
Dr. Stacy Smith and Mr. Allen Smith

Or

Dr. Stacy Smith
and Mr. Allen Smith
Inner envelope: Dr. and Mr. Smith

Married couple, wife is doctor AND kept her maiden name:
Dr. Stacy Jones and Mr. Allen Smith

Or

Dr. Stacy Jones
and Mr. Allen Smith
Inner envelope: Dr. Jones and Mr. Smith

Living together, but not married (alphabetical):
Ms. Stacy Jones
Mr. Allen Smith
Inner envelope: Ms. Jones
Mr. Smith

For a Family:
Mr. and Mrs. Allen Smith
Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Lila, Morton and Russell

Or

Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Miss Lila Smith
Master Morton Smith
Master Russell Smith

When addressing invitations, senior is used only in situations where there is a widow. When there is a junior, when written out, the "j" is lower case (junior), when abbreviated, the "j" is capitalized (Jr.)

Those guests with steady significant others are invited with their dates. Every effort should be made to find the correct spelling of this person's name. "And guest" should never appear on an invitation.


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This article was written by: Jodi R. R. Smith, owner of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. www.Mannersmith.com Copyright © 2000-2007 Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting.